The Joyful Widower

Ruminations on grief, joy, love, and the cross

Widower

  • “You were lucky…”

    The worst thing anyone ever said to me as a new widower: “you were lucky.” A couple days after Melinda’s death, I called Social Security to notify them and to apply for whatever survivor benefits I was entitled to. The surviving spouse gets a one-time $255 death benefit (possibly more, depending on earnings, age, disability Continue reading

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  • Backwards and Forwards

    Two weeks from today will be one year since the doctor declared Tracy dead. There’s something (I was about to say “indescribable,” but then realized that I’m describing it) about reaching the one year mark. The first year is full of adjustments. It’s full of “firsts.” The first Valentine’s Day without my wife (just 3 Continue reading

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  • The Big “W”

    When I first became a widower, I felt like there was a big invisible “W” tattooed on my forehead. I knew it wasn’t really there, but it felt like everyone “knew just by looking at me” that my wife had died. I read an article about a year or so into being a widower (I Continue reading

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  • Tilsons… Meet the Tilsons…

    Last night, as I was chewing over what to write about today, I realized that I have some friends who knew both Melinda and Tracy, some friends who knew Tracy but not Melinda, some who knew Melinda but not Tracy, and (if this blog takes off), a growing audience of people who’ve never met any Continue reading

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  • Shouldering the Load

    Not so much theological reflection this week. I’m recovering from a man-cold (learn more here), so I’m not back to firing on all cylinders yet. I’m still going to write, even if it’s a short entry, because I know myself, and I know that I need to make writing a scheduled, disciplined endeavor if I’m Continue reading

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  • Marriage, Being Widowed, and the Cross

    “I didn’t sign up for this.” You may not have read the fine print, but yes, yes, you did. Years ago, when Melinda and I were doing pre-marital counseling with Fr. Stephen Freeman, he pointed out to us the hard truth that most people don’t (or don’t want to) think about when they are planning Continue reading

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