Orthodoxy
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Pascha! And then…
Pascha is the apex of Christian worship. It is the Queen of Feasts, the ultimate joy that we share. Orthodox christians around the world gather shortly before midnight Saturday night in order to begin the services as early in the day of Sunday as possible, and we sing and pray for 3 hours. And then… Continue reading
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The Mother of God
Today (May 3) is Good Friday on the Orthodox calendar. What better day to meditate on the Cross than this? This year my heart is drawn to the Theotokos, the Mother of God. In particular, a reality that I should have seen years before, but I’d never connected the dots, nor heard anyone else do… Continue reading
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“Time heals all wounds!” Oh, please…
Dear Griever, Perhaps someone (or many someones) has said to you “time heals all wounds.” Perhaps you’ve said it to someone else (in which case, forgive me for what I’m about to say). Ahem. BS. Time does not heal all wounds. Rather, time gives you the opportunity to work out the healing (or not). The… Continue reading
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The Alchemy of Grief
The Elixir Teach me, my God and King, In all things Thee to see, And what I do in anything To do it as for Thee. Not rudely, as a beast, To run into an action; But still to make Thee prepossest, And give it his perfection. A man that looks on glass, On it may stay his eye; Or if he pleaseth,… Continue reading
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Behold, the Bridegroom comes at midnight…
I hadn’t planned to write during Holy Week. Between work during the day and church services every evening this week, as well as chauffeur duties for the kids, plus planning for food for the feast (Tracy’s savory cheesecake!), I had figured I would write something after Pascha, either during Bright Week or the week after.… Continue reading
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Backwards and Forwards
Two weeks from today will be one year since the doctor declared Tracy dead. There’s something (I was about to say “indescribable,” but then realized that I’m describing it) about reaching the one year mark. The first year is full of adjustments. It’s full of “firsts.” The first Valentine’s Day without my wife (just 3… Continue reading
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Confession and Counseling
There are a few seminary moments etched so clearly in my mind, times that I received a real pearl of wisdom. One of the most important was the day when the Rev. Dr. Walter Eversley summed up a point he was making with, “I am a priest. I am not a psychotherapist. It is not… Continue reading
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The Big “W”
When I first became a widower, I felt like there was a big invisible “W” tattooed on my forehead. I knew it wasn’t really there, but it felt like everyone “knew just by looking at me” that my wife had died. I read an article about a year or so into being a widower (I… Continue reading
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Tilsons… Meet the Tilsons…
Last night, as I was chewing over what to write about today, I realized that I have some friends who knew both Melinda and Tracy, some friends who knew Tracy but not Melinda, some who knew Melinda but not Tracy, and (if this blog takes off), a growing audience of people who’ve never met any… Continue reading
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Shouldering the Load
Not so much theological reflection this week. I’m recovering from a man-cold (learn more here), so I’m not back to firing on all cylinders yet. I’m still going to write, even if it’s a short entry, because I know myself, and I know that I need to make writing a scheduled, disciplined endeavor if I’m… Continue reading
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Marriage, Being Widowed, and the Cross
“I didn’t sign up for this.” You may not have read the fine print, but yes, yes, you did. Years ago, when Melinda and I were doing pre-marital counseling with Fr. Stephen Freeman, he pointed out to us the hard truth that most people don’t (or don’t want to) think about when they are planning… Continue reading
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Preview of Coming Attractions: Marriage, Widowerhood, Remarriage, Widowerhood Remix, and the Cross
And I, brethren, when I came to you, came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom, declaring unto you the testimony of God. For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling. I Corinthians… Continue reading
The Joyful Widower 